The Real Meaning of Flirting and how to Be a Good Flirt- The Friday Shaker

 

                                                             

Flirting comes from the old French word 'fleurter,' meaning to flower. There are different definitions of flirting, and I'll list a few of them according to Peta Heskell (2002).

☆ Flirting is about giving out that little bit but not being totally available.

☆ Flirting is about fun, connecting, and getting to know people.

☆ Flirting is a way of showing people you are interested in them.

☆ Flirting is about giving compliments, smiling, and making people happy.

☆ Flirting is like being a butterfly—it flutters past in all its beauty, and when we try to catch it, it flies away, leaving us wanting more...

☆ Flirting is eye contact. It's looking at people and smiling with your eyes.

☆ Flirting is making yourself so attractive that people can't resist you.

☆ Flirting is being able to keep a conversation going after 'Hello'!

All these definitions define flirting, which simply means feeling great about yourself and resonating this with the world so that the right people are drawn to you irresistibly. You build rapport by speaking their language. This is called Success Flirting, as Peta Heskell says in her book on Flirt. You can use these skills to make a success of your social relationships, career, as well as your love life.

Many of us were thinking that flirting is only kissing and sleeping around with everyone. No, it's not that. I can't encourage my readers to involve themselves in bad behavior. At least you now know what I want to discuss on flirting.

A successful flirt flirts with everyone and manages to flirt with anyone they choose. If you can manage to flirt with children, babies, elderly people, men, and women, know that you're a good flirt. You need to be positive and enjoy jokes. You need to feel good about yourself and be in a positive state of mind. You need positive emotions more often, even on bad days; this really helps you move on. You should feel that meeting people is an opportunity to interact and feel good. You should have fun and play like children. Good flirts have no aim in mind other than to make sure that when they have gained something, the other person has gained something too. They are able to pick up other people's signals and know when to take flirting to the next level and when to stop. I'll tell you how to develop all these qualities. I'll help you learn how to develop the confidence, attitudes, beliefs, and skills to interact easily and successfully with yourself and others.

Great flirts love who they are and what they do. Good communication with others only comes once you have good communication with yourself. So you need to work with yourself first inside; that's the secret. The better you know yourself, the easier it is for you to flirt successfully and love it. Do you know how wonderful you are? You should know who you are and rejoice in it. Be honest with yourself and be proud of who you are.

Who are you? Who do you think you are? Some may say I'm Miss Phil; I am a black woman; I am an engineer; I'm a bit boring really; I'm talkative; I'm shy, etc. Some people define themselves by their work, others by their sexuality or their role in life or their relationship to others. But you cannot define yourself by one thing only. Sometimes, even worse, we take on the definitions other people have created for us. We forget who we are and what we are capable of doing. So who are you? What kind of person are you? Would you like to explore who you are? Write what you know about yourself, be honest, and let it flow. After that, write what you want; otherwise, how will you know if you've got it? Here's another exploration you can do. What do you really, really want? What is it that you've always wanted? What's that big dream, deep wishes, and desires? What if they all come to pass; what will your life be? Then imagine everything you want being put into an enormous balloon and let it float away.

Sometimes you need to let go of what you want, although this may seem strange, but once you let go, opportunities open for you. Desperation comes when you're focusing strongly on what you want. Don't be desperate; some things that you don't want may indirectly lead you to what you want, so don't miss out on having a good time just because you want something so badly. All you need is a connection; if you don't connect, you don't open doors to opportunities. So, let go of your dreams, be aware of them, and place them somewhere safe. Life is an adventure. Instead of trying to stick to a plan, let it unfold as it is meant to. You can become friends with a certain shabby guy whom you don't like, but you never know his other friends he has whom you can meet through him and can connect. We can't expect to meet new friends, lovers, and business contacts through the usual channels. Sometimes it's the willingness to take advantage of unlikely situations that lead to wonderful friendships, a new relationship, or that great business opportunity (Peta Heskell; 2001: 20).

I want you to learn to make things happen for you, not to you. You need to be strong and courageous, not fearing anything when you want to flirt, not worrying about the consequences. You should be able to open up to the possibilities and strike up a conversation when you meet a person you're attracted to. Don't get scared to show someone you like them. I know some of you may say you can't flirt, don't know what to say, you flirt too much, you're not good enough, or too ugly. These are some of the challenges you might have. Everyone has their challenges, but you can learn to make changes, and you can come out feeling great. Are you taking your life too seriously and denying yourself some fun and success? Don't be easy as well; just have limits; people may mistake you and use you. Don't use sex to attract people to you. Men will just use you and walk away. Be clever on that; don't be weak, please my fellow ladies.

How do you deal with your memory? This is very important for you to control your memory by keeping and remembering good things only because if you happen to remember your past hurts and rejection, this will affect your flirting success. Remember the good times only more often, and the bad times will fade away. Good flirts don't depend on people to feel good; they create their own good times and spread them around. Good luck as you start this flirting journey. I know you'll be successful in everything now.

REFERENCES: Flirt coach; communication tips for friendship, love, and professional success, Peta Heskell, Thorsons, 2001.